Ain't No Junk in My Trunk... Yet.

Yesterday, I was presented with a very interesting opportunity. Upon helping my best friend Devon out with a chore at her grandmothers, I acquired a new and very personally-valued object. Our task was to go into her grandmother's basement and sort through old books so she could make some donations to her church. The books were stored in two giant trunks.

Oh, man. Did I ever love those trunks. Looked like something straight out of 1910, England. Or Harry Potter, for you young 'uns :) One was larger than the other, with brass rivets and heavy buckles closing it shut. The hard brown leather covering the outside had capped corners (also done in brass) and was covered in stickers from places all over the world, though faded and peeling. Lots of history behind it. Inside were drawers and compartments, and even a pull-out shirt rack. I loved it immediately.

The second trunk was smaller (though still almost too heavy for me to carry around) and had no drawers or compartments inside. Just one big open space. It had wooden ribs on the outside, which at one time were probably quite beautiful, along with brass capped corners and edges to protect the hardened tweed surface. Inside was a plaid wallpaper, used as a lining, and plenty of MOLD. Yum.

Anyway, we sorted all of the books out, and surprise! Her grandmother told us we could keep the trunks for ourselves. I loved the larger of the two, with the stickers and compartments, and Devon loved the smaller one, considering she'd been looking for a Hope chest for a long time (and figured this'd serve as a perfect one for herself.)

Needless to say, despite our preferences, I was stuck with the smaller of the two because her parents valued the bigger one more (as it was once her grandfather's, who is now deceased. The smaller was her great-grandmother's, and slightly less valued for some reason.) But, I still saw the potential in the smaller one, and still loved it. I began stripping the inside that very day, and discovered the wood underneath of the paper is like new. With a little love and attention, this trunk is going to be one gorgeous addition to my house! :D

Not to mention I'd love to take it on a train trip across Europe with me someday.
-- Pictures coming soon! As the progress of fixin' 'er up come along :)
-Bee

Food For Thought

Tonight, I went to see a movie. Julie and Julia.

The night began with me march-dragging my date across the parking lot, because we arrived at the theatre at exactly 9:15, the precise time that the movie began. Because of my incessant speed walking, we made it in with time to spare, (luckily someone started the movie a little late.) I then spent the majority of the movie squealing, curling up my toes and shielding my eyes from the blinding on-screen glory that is Meryl Streep and Amy Adams. I managed to shove down most of the large bag of popcorn I'd bought before the first ten minutes of the film was over, then made Prince Charming go and get me a drink (which I never ended up finishing anyways) and THEN proceeded to feel washed over with feel-good vibes at the lovely screenplay. It might be just me, because I love stories about people finding themselves, but might also just because I love food and this movie contained it. Lots of it. And maybe because I dream of someday being able to cook as well as the other women in my family (my mother and grandmothers are BRILLIANT cooks. And my great-grandmother, too. Goes way back, big food family. The line seems to have stopped when it hit me, however.)

I've had thoughts in my head for the last age about how I'd like to find that something to get me rolling. To give me direction. For Julie, it was a giant cookbook written by her idol, Julia Child, and the action of cooking her way through every single recipe in 365 days. Through creating, making mistakes, eating, and learning, she ends up in the same place at the end of it all, only feeling better about herself and her relationships. Plus she got a book deal. AND a movie deal. Sounds pretty sweet to me (no pun intended.)

Life isn't a storybook, normally. But it's something. And maybe it's about time my something came along to give me the shove I need. I could start painting again. Or writing more often. Or making costumes and jewelry again. There are TONS of things I could do with myself. Just got to get creative, I suppose.

- Bee

Oh, Hey There. Didn't See You.

I have not written in ages, and for that, I apologize. I've been too busy being unemployed, and searching for summer since it appears to have gotten lost on the way here. Not to mention disappearing off into Dreamland whenever there are no dishes to unload from the dishwasher (DAMN, I hate that chore so much. All you dishwasher-less people probably laugh and say, "Ha. You think that's bad," but really, it sucks just as much as any other dish-cleaning experience after a while.)

You will be pleased to note that I will now catch you up on everything important or remotely interesting that has happened within the time since I've been here last:

1) I was almost hired on the spot at Future Shop because of my excellent bullshit spewing ability. Then they found out I was a student.

2) Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Billy Mays, Walter Cronkite, Ed McMahon, Karl Malden, Steve McNair, Arturo Gatti, Marc Leduc, and Frank McCourt have all passed away. Within a month. I cried for Michael, and felt terrible for Farrah because of how much deserved attention was diverted from her death and onto someone else's. Also, so many deaths of people living in the public eye in such a short time is unnerving to me. Plus, the cat that I had since I was four years old also passed away, rendering me useless for almost a week. I plan on giving her a special dedication post later on.

3) I bought Martin, my betta, a new bowl. It is fantastic, and I rub it in the face of the two girls who stole the last available one from my fingertips at HomeSense two months ago. NOW I HAVE ONE TOO, BITCHES.

4) My cousin got engaged to someone who hates me because I let her leave a restaurant bathroom with a foot long piece of toilet paper trailing from each $500 designer high-heeled shoe. This will make any and all family gatherings, including tomorrow and the next day, quite interesting. I'm hoping she doesn't slip something into my drink at dinner.

5) I wrote and completed my mandatory entrance essay for post-secondary, and rocked it. I hope I beat the other highschool dropouts. Shazam.

6) My yearly physical revealed that I am not, in fact, 5'3 and 3/4 tall as I thought I was, but 5'3 and a half. This is bullshit.

Other than that, yesterday I succeeded in finishing painting a dresser, cleaning and reoganizing a room (getting it to perfection, oh yes,) becoming lost within London to the point of finding the END of a main street, talking to a shark at an aquarium store, and spending five hours assembling a desk that clearly did not want to be assembled. My boyfriend and I agreed; it was an amazing day. We both went home feeling fantastic.

I hope you feel "with it" and "caught up" and "ready for anything." Because clearly, my news boosts have enlightened your spirits and simultaneously moved you to tears. Right? No? Ah.

Hoping you are all well. I'll post pictures of my adventure day (and probably write about it,) and complete the post about my cat when possible. LOOK FOR IT ON NEWSTANDS NEAR YOU. (It's four dollars.)

-Bee

Update: Harry Patch, the last surviving veteran from WWI, has passed away as well.

Halves.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not fulfilling whatever purpose it is that's been set out for me. Like right now. I'm sitting in a cold bedroom (despite the 22 degree sunny weather outside that I've been begging for) and not accomplishing a whole lot, just sitting at my desk, waiting for motivation and excitement to kick me in the face. Since that's totally how it works. It'd be neat to say that I'm leaving to work with kids in Africa next week, but I'm not. I'd love to be able to tell someone, "Yeah! I've opened my own business in the downtown area, the place is booming. You should totally come by," only, I'm unemployed and will most likely remain so for the next long while, let alone having my own business. It'd feel great to tell someone, "Oh, sorry, I can't come out tonight... already got other plans. Maybe tomorrow?" Buuuuut, I'll probably hang out here tonight and watch re-runs of CSI Miami and watch my parents go to bed at 8 with barely a hello to each other because they're both so tired from working so much overtime every day.

As you can see, I'm feeling a little lost within myself at the moment. Don't worry, it happens now and again, as I'm sure it's happened to you too at some point. Direction needs to come and dance naked in front of me because I'm tired of half-drawing pictures and writing fractions of songs because my brain can't complete whatever thought it is I'm working on. It's like I'm cut in half - The half that's good at beginning things stuck around, but the half that's good at finishing them went to Hong Kong on a shopping excursion and took an extended vacation because it saw a WICKED pair of Jimmy Choo's in the window and got a job there in order to pay for them.

And because I'm only one-half of myself, I've only got one movement direction. So, I'm walking around in circles, covering the same ground. But a lot of the time, I don't really know that that's what I'm doing. Because I've only got half a brain, too. And brains need two halves to function, unless someone's made you a robo-brain. Which would be sweet, right?

Robo-brains would be pretty cool. But also dangerous, I'd imagine. Boyfriend wouldn't like it; he's bent on the concept that robots will someday take over the world. I wouldn't be suprised either, but still.

There's another thing I've been thinking about - Do people really need to call their partners their "other half" ? I know for a fact that even though I have somebody, I still end up doing most things on my own, probably as it should be. And in my experience, mostly women say stuff like that (unless you've somehow been blessed with an adorably crazy-romantic prince charming. To which I say, I am jealous of you, sister. I am a hopeless romantic myself.) Anyway, sorry lady, but it looks to me like you're a whole, all on your own... two eyes (all doe-like, if your hubby's there) two lungs, two arms, two legs, two feet and two hands... only one heart, though. Maybe that's why they say it; almost everything else in the human body is either paired or symmetrical, but one major thing that jumps to mind that isn't is the heart. You only have one. Pair it up with another person, and you've got two. A pair. Spacially correct. Kinda cool.

But that's probably just me on my whacko thinking spree. No making fun of me -.-

Too many people don't do a lot of what they're supposed to, have you noticed? Which is most likely why everybody is cool with divorces now. They can get what they want, whenever they want. Very few rules, very few commitments. "I don't feel like doing that today." Well, fine then. Don't. But I know my grandparents did... and with a little work, you really can get a lot. And feel good about it, too. Why are we all so lazy? Why is it that I can just sit around and do nothing and feel sorry for myself BECAUSE I am doing nothing? Even though it was my own choice?

Ugh.

I want to accomplish. My excuse is that I always seem to try and then for whatever reason, give up part way. Maybe I want a lot handed to me. Or maybe, I burnt out after a childhood of "smart kid" classes and pressure to be the best at everything. Or maybe that's me finding another excuse again.

I believe in making some changes. I've just got to believe and remember that getting moving is worth it.

-Bee

Inside Art

This morning I discovered a new thing that I love, called "inside art." Satre Stuelke is an artistically inclined Manhattan medical student (who likes to take advantage of the exceptionally expensive equipment he's been provided with.) Every one of his art pieces are created using a CT scanner, and the subjects are generally everyday objects: a friend's cellphone, his daughter's Barbie doll, his childhood rubber ducky. He's used the scanner not only to just make pretty pictures, but to also solve problems regarding objects. For example, he put his daughter's toy submarine through a scan to figure out why it no longer would work, and discovered that the gears inside had all rusted together. His main message to people is to, "think about how things are constructed." Yes sir, I certainly will. Because these pictures are COOL.

I, for one, did not know that Barbie had a skull, or leg bones.

But she totally does.

I also didn't know that Chicken McNuggets had any form of artistic quality, but according to Mr. Stuelke, "They are so beautiful with their breading.... The box design is truly elegant as well." Thank you, artist. You have almost made me appreciate McNuggets a little more.

Some of his other pieces include:

Elephant! His daughter helped him choose the colours for this one.

Beanie bunny. Weird looking.

Anyway. So if you want to check out this guy, here's the link again. Pretty cool stuff. Wish I had a CT scanner to play with (pff, cellphones give off radiation too! They don't shoot it through things, but.... It's not THAT dangerous.... right?)

-Bee

Busts 4 Justice... Really What You Wanted?

Well.


You might recall my recent post about a certain company charging more for larger-sized bras. See, that business decision backfired. Displaying posters with the words, "We boobed." on them, the company Marks and Spencer has now backed off and removed their surcharge on bras sized DD and larger after 14 000 women signed a Facebook petition against the newly added cost.

You can view the press coverage here and here.

The company is now also offering a 25% discount on all bras in an attempt to further coddle the disgruntled chesty women.

The deli bra. For those who just loved the bacon bra

As you can see... I'm not sure how I'm feeling about this victory. I am happy that the women got what they wanted and what they worked for, because everybody feels good with an honest win. But I'm wondering if they really were paying attention to what they were getting. I hope this decision doesn't backfire on them.

As you can imagine, larger-sized boobs need more support, often in different places. The women (even one in this video) complain of larger-sized bras being ill-fitting and difficult to find, which therefore "adds insult to injury" when the price on these bras is raised. In another article I had read (I wish I could find the link, I no longer have it *sob*) that Marks and Spencer claim to have added the extra charge in order to continue re-engineering their larger sizes to better meet the unique needs of these larger women. So, now that they're not only removing the extra (small) charge, I'd assume they're also cutting back the funding that was designed to help the women out in the first place. I dunno, I'm pretty sure I could handle paying an extra two bucks on a bra that is actually going to fit me properly. Especially since I (and most other women too) don't buy bras half as often as other clothes; they aren't a frequent need.

Sushi bra, the healthy alternative!

People need to maybe back off a bit on the sensationalism ("Beckie Williams wanted equality for big-breasted girls. She fought M&S until she came face to face with Sir Stuart Rose. This is her heroic story") and just have a real look at things; if they really prove to be as offensive as you think, by all means tar and feather the culprit until they get the message and cut with the crap. But sometimes, I think this second look at things can flash some little details you hadn't noticed or thought about before. So here's to you, big-boobed women. I hope your efforts get you what you wanted, and not just something else to complain about.

-Bee

Boobs, Some Bacon, and Birth Control (Scary.)

Men, do not fret. There will be a bit of attention for you too, after I deal with THIS, first. I promise.

There has been an uproar. Large-breasted women everywhere are threatening the company Marks and Spencer, because of one thing; They've imposed a titty tax. They have raised the price of their larger-sized bras by £2 , because "they require more engineering, and more materials to create." (I believe it is DD specifically, but i may be wrong.) The company also claims to be unable to remove the charge because of the economic downturn, despite most other companies continuing to charge the same price for bras no matter the size. So, a newly-formed organization called, "Busts 4 Justice" has now bought shares of the company to get in on the ordeal. "If they won't listen to us as customers maybe they'll listen to us as shareholders." (... If you have enough money to buy shares in a company, you wouldn't think the extra £2 they're tacking on wouldn't be that big of a deal. Sigh.)


In response, M&S said: 'M&S offers the most comprehensive DD+ collection and one of the most competitively priced on the high street, with bras in the range starting from just £8 and a 100% silk bra from only £14." I dunno, that's pretty decent. Here I could buy one regular cloth bra for like thirty bucks at La Senza. Sigh. The company also claims to have improved on quality in their larger sizes.


... I am a petite girl. I am proud of my barely B-cup boobs. I recognize it's difficult to find a fit, at times, both in bathing suits and in bras. I recognize I am both smaller than some girls out there, and that there are also some much smaller than me. And I think I can know discrimination when I see it, but I'm not sure this is just a case of discrimination, as so many claim it is.


There's at least some truth in it, ladies... I'm sorry to say it, but your over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders really are way, way bigger than mine. More material is needed to hold 'em up, and therefore, it honestly does cost the company more to produce these products. Everything else, besides clothing, is priced depending on size or amount, so why this particular product area was never introduced to this style of marketing, I'm not entirely sure. Normally, if you want more, you pay more... I suppose that's where this company got their idea from.


So, I guess it's only natural they might at least consider charging a bit more for something with more material used in it, though I'd personally prefer that they did not do so even if only to avoid crazy people rioting. Plus, there should be another way to compensate; people can't always help what size they are. I know specialty stores for extra tall people carry products that cost more [my cousin needs to shop at those] and plus-size based stores sometimes do as well. On the other side, children's clothing costs less than those designed for adults. I know that most bra companies do not charge more depending on size, so personally, if I had a problem with hiked prices, I'd shop elsewhere instead. Show these companies what you think through what actually drives them to make changes - money. Just try not to lynch too many executives with bra straps at your protest.

This bra is made of bacon. For serious. Apparently it's impossible to type in "bra" on Google Images and get anything normal-looking.

Now. For those with penises, instead. (What, you didn't like the bacon bra?! D: )


There's a new form of birth control in the works! And this time... it ain't us chickies that have to deal with it. This new contraceptive is a monthly injection that has proved 99% effective at temporarily blocking all sperm production (don't worry, within six months you can get your swimmies back.) Now, it's not completely perfect. Nowhere near that just yet - "One third of participants dropped out before the end of the study for unspecified reasons." Though the article also says there were way less adverse side-effects compared to normal male birth control therapies. So, not sure what to think. But it's a start...? Might be kinda cool if they could get it away from injection form, as well. If all goes well, the developers hope to see it go mainstream in around five years. Men, would you be willing to try a new form of contraception?

I told you.

Leave your thoughts.

-Bee

Looky Looky...

In light of Mother's Day....

Society places a big emphasis on looks, have you noticed? We are suprised by Susan Boyle's talent - why, because her physical form is unnattractive by today's standards? What does that have to do with voice? (Fashion sense, vs sound... hm.) I'm not saying I don't consider physical attractiveness, um, attractive. Because it is. I love finding the clothes that flatter people the most, I love the idea of making houses more beautiful, I love things in general that ARE beautiful. But it doesn't make someone less talented or less less capable of doing things. It also doesn't make me respect myself any less (though will admit I do have days where I'm a bit hard on myself - who doesn't?) It also would not make me resort to spending £10,000 at age fifty on surgery to make myself look like my thirty year-old daughter.

Not that I even have a daughter, but still.

Ew.

Left: Janet, age 50. Right: Her daughter, Jane.

So, the story goes that this woman, Janet, decided it'd be cool to be her daughter's twin. Kind of creepy in my opinion, but alright. Whatever floats your boat. Anyway, so she put herself through £10 000 worth of surgury, which includes two breast augmentation surgeries (the first time one ruptured; then they weren't big enough - they also couldn't save her marriage) going from her normal size to a 34C, then to a DD. She also had a nose job, an eye lift (no more wrinkles!) plumping lip injections, blonde hair extensions, and a new wardrobe (she lost weight.) Whew.

... Hawt...?

"I love us looking the same." Poor thing. Now, I'm all for self-esteem... but I think this went a little too far. We all age, and I'm pretty sure not many people like it. But how much pain do you need to put yourself through before you can be ok with your own appearance? I don't know what to think; I like being able to look nice, but I also think there are ways to do it at any age that don't involve massive amounts of money and hurting yourself. For those who are curious, here's a before and after:

Yeah. So what I'm wondering is, how many people would ever actually consider plastic surgery? I know it's obviously not for everyone, myself included... but I do recognize that for some individuals, it can greatly improve self-esteem, and therefore quality of life. Sometimes it can be used for reconstructing severe problems as well, though I'm asking more about vanity surgeries. How far is too far? Would you feel safe going under the knife?


-Bee

These Boots Were Made For Walkin'... And That's Just What They'll Do.

I'm sure there's been a point in everybody's life where they've visted a city with an absolutely bustling neighbourhood or two. I'm talkin' about the kind where neat little shops and restaurants fill the streets, where there are patios set up haphazardly in front of mom and pop stores, and where street performers liven up even the most mundane stroll to the office. The sidewalks are filled with people; it feels like the very air itself could be alive. The classic Hollywood theme of "I met the love of my life here" could happen to you, in that feel-good place. Or you could bump into an old friend. Inspiration could kick you in the face, letting you paint the next Mona Lisa. The human energy is incredible, and the possibilities are nearly endless.

...Yep. So, that's a walkable neighbourhood, or a "pedestrian-friendly" neighbourhood - and part of the reason why they are awesome. And just so you know, those badboys are an absolute MUST for humans to survive in harmony with the rest of Earth's population both now, and in the future, so listen up.





Why Walkable Neighbourhoods Rock:

-They battle obesity

You're taking the initiative to take yourself - You're walking around, not sitting and letting a machine take you where you want to go.

According to a comprehensive community report called "Healthy Weights for Healthy Kids," obesity costs Canada an estimated $1.6 billion per year from medical bills and related expenses alone. There's another $2.7 billion in indirect losses, from productivity loss, disability insurance, and self-esteem problems resulting in mental issues. Hospitals are beginning to purchase more large-capacity beds and wheelchair equipment, and gastric bands ($$$). They have also invested in the invention of a higher weight capacity stretcher, capable of carring individuals up to 700lbs without breaking (how sad.) I vote the money starts going towards promoting a more active lifestyle, and making it possible to integrate activity into even the busiest schedule. Having a foot-friendly neigbourhood could assist in combatting the obeisity epidemic. A study done in Washington shows that people who live in walkable neighbourhoods on average weigh 7lbs less than people who live in sprawling neighbourhoods. Not to mention you'll get to show off those fantastic shoes you just bought.


-They battle social isolation.

You can't NOT be around people. They're everywhere! It's undeniable there's a certain feeling that comes from being in a lively area. These neighbourhoods can help us feel good! (And you can't deny that that helps in a lot of other life situations, too.)

Relationships aren't what they used to be. In a 2006 study, it was discovered that the number of Americans who had someone they could discuss important matters with dropped to nearly one third of its previous amount. It was also discovered that the number of people who said they had no one with whom to discuss difficult topics more than doubled, to nearly 25%. They also found out that both family and non-family confidants dropped. Shrinking social networks are a cause for concern, whether or not they seem to be - it means people are less likely to get involved with and volunteer in clubs and organizations, some of which are crucial to certain societal areas. It also means during bad times, more and more people are forced to suffer alone. And that's no fun.
The report places some blame on the shoulders of technology for reducing the need for face-to-face, real-time interaction. With walkable neighbourhoods, you're out there. In faces. Talking and interacting in real time. You could be inspired to volunteer, to get involved. Seeing is believing; sometimes all it takes is some in-person exposure to make things seem more achievable, and more "real."


-They battle urban sprawl
No need for fatty roads taking up space, people are using their feet. Oh, so THAT'S what those are for?! Siiiick.
This means you're saving valuable natural land, which is both gorgeous to look at, and necessary for our furry and feathered friends! And, you know, snails and stuff. Preventing unecessary urban sprawl can also prevent farmland loss, which means more food for us to eat.


-They reduce car crashes
It's simple. Less cars = less crashes. Woot. Less car usage also means you're saving money on fuel and repair costs, which we all know can cost a bundle.
According to the Toronto Star, 299 people died in the GTA alone in 2005, from car accidents. That's one place in all of Canada. The less you use cars, the less you're exposing yourself to the possibilty of an accident involving one. Alcohol is still a major cause of fatal accidents; it accounts for nearly 40% of fatally injured drivers. And guess what - in a walkable neighbourhood, you's walkin'. Not drivin'. That means it's much safer on the way home from the pub, for both yourself and any other people who may be in the area.


-They battle climate change

Walking doesn't produce fossil fuels. Now there's something to feel good about.
There's no doubt that climate change is a huge driving force in today's world. The economy changes, the products we consume change... I guess you could say the way we live our lives as a whole changes. We are becoming more and more aware of the problems caused by the greenhouse effect, and are feeling more and more pressed to do something about it. So here's your chance. Save the polar bears, and the ozone. Help decrease the demand for oil (it'll save you money on your roadtrips, too.) Do something nice for your planet - There are a lot more people that live here besides just you.
Oh, and a busier area encourages more forms of public transportation - a bus can be up to ten times safer than a car. It can also encourage city planners to build bike lanes. All of this can seriously improve our air quality.

So, yes. I propose cities look into creating more pedestrian-friendly neighbourhoods. They seem to have a lot going for them, and I know I personally would love to have one around. My city's downtown core has slowly been sapped of its life - The city planners thought it'd be cool to build a great big new mall to encourage expansion outward, then decided it'd be an even BETTER idea to build a fatass Wal-Mart even FURTHER AWAY. Traffic has increased. Pollution has increased. Forest areas around here have DEcreased.... in fact, one of the two last remaining (boreal? I forget) habitats in southern Ontario was destroyed for a suburb. Needless to say, I was bummed. I still glare at that neighbourhood when we DRIVE BY ON OUR WAY TO THE MALL, THE ONLY PLACE LEFT IN TOWN TO BUY CLOTHES.

So, encourage your city to foster public places where people can gather - without their gas guzzlers.

PS: I'm typing on a broken keyboard, you'd better appreciate me. That was a long thing, just there.

-Bee

Superhero Feelings

I am going to be writing a post shortly. A post that is actually useful to others. It is going to be about something people take for granted - Something called "walkable neighbourhoods." You might not know what I'm talking about, but you will once I write this post. And you will appreciate it. And maybe even use your newfound knowledge to go out there into that bright and shiny world and make some changes that could eventually help save the planet.

And now, my turn to feel.

I feel:

Like I want to go down to the bay and just quietly sit with somebody while the sun goes down.
Like I want to talk, and have things to talk about that others will enjoy listening to.
Like I want to get dressed up as though I have somewhere to go.
Like I want somewhere to go.
Like I want to have someone I can always rely on.
Like I want to be able to rely on myself.
Like I want others to be able to rely on me.
Like I need reassurance that I'm making the right decisions.
Like I want some guidance and direction to get me rolling.
Like I want a tall glass of water.
Like having Felix come home and take me out for popsicles - it would be the best thing.
Like I want to ride the train.
Like I want to be hugged.
Like I want to take pictures - There haven't been enough memories lately.
Like I want to go shopping with Devon, because she's willing to tell me if a shirt looks ugly as sin on me or not.
Like I need to be something I'm not in order to keep people happy, sometimes.



-Bee

Something's Different...

You may have noticed there is a new header. I, too, have noticed. If it grows on me, it stays. If it doesn't, well... let's just say it goes to that "special place" that all poorly done blog headers go. Feel free to submit ideas for a new blog name, and a new header design - I will love you forever. And possibly cook you dinner.

-Bee

The God of Post-Secondary Has Spoken (He says he hates me.)

Alright. I think I'm entitled to a rant now and again. No one says you have to read it, though... it will be long and arduous. This rant is to explain my situation, academically, for the last year and a bit, and how I'm about ready to just give up altogether.

For health reasons, I was pulled out of school in the second semester of my senior year (great timing, eh? :P) In order to graduate highschool and get my diploma, I had to take three extra courses to compensate for what I'd missed in being pulled from school. I was in the "U" steam, (university-bound) and eagerly anticipating my switch to post-secondary and all the new things that go with it.

WELL.

I did my courses at the ALC, also known to our town as the Adult Learning Center, or the Center For Alternative and Continuing Education. They allowed me to work from home, since I was incapable of getting to a regular institution on a daily basis to study. I did the courses, had them in on time, and was generally happy with myself. So when January rolled around, and it was time for me to apply to school, I thought I was golden. Had great marks (I am very... particular, with how I do at school) and was ready to go. I went to send my application in, and discovered something horrifying.

The person who had been overseeing my course list at ALC had given me the wrong ones. He had given me C-level ones, or college courses. Now, you might be wondering why I didn't notice the difference in difficulty... I've never really struggled with U courses either. Always been able to manage high marks without an excess of stress (unless it was math. Boo math.) From the start, he had also assured me that in taking these courses, I'd be good to go.

Anyway. So I went in, had my rant, told Mr. Idiot that he'd provided me with the wrong stuff to complete, and that now I was unqualified to even apply to university. He told me to come back another day, and he'd have a solution. So I came back the next available day (seeing as he's only there for an hour window each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday - 11:00am-noon) and he wasn't there. Cool. So I came by the NEXT available day. He was there, but just leaving. Realizing his mistake, he threw the only available courses he had for me to take - Writer's Craft (a massive workload... the biggest they had on-site) math, and then told me he'd give me whatever other course they could order in from another place. Later, though; not right now. Sweet. I hated math, didn't have a lot of time to do WC, and dearly hoped they weren't going to order in some crazy-massive course from wherever they order things from.

So I started working on the Writer's Craft course, and slowly but surely began on the 26 000 essays required (okay, that's an exaggeration. But that's pretty well all the freaking course is, so.) I dropped the math because it wasn't my style. Couldn't do it in the state I was in (the health thing, which I will potentially address in another post, but not for right now.)

Around this same time, I decided that since I was qualified to apply to college, that maybe I could apply and go for a one-year program, as sort of a stepping stone to getting to university. Plus, as I soon discovered, Fanshawe (the college I was considering) had excellent support for my health needs. So, that didn't seem so bad, and it'd probably be good to keep my options open in case university didn't work out. I applied, and tried calling the ALC in order to get the transcript of my marks to send away to be reviewed with my application. They said they didn't have it, but could get it for me another day. Needless to say, it took a few more calls, and a few more fruitless visits before someone actually told Mr. Idiot what I had been calling about. Nothing came of it, though. He said he'd get to it when he could.

A month later, I recieved a letter saying that the college needed my transcript. An "official" copy, one issued from whatever school I had been attending prior. So, feeling frustrated because of the lack of response from the ALC, I went to go pick it up from my old highschool; Only, they wouldn't give it to me. Turns out, Mr. Idiot hadn't updated my transcript with my end marks on those college courses, so I didn't even have a highschool diploma yet. I was both angry and disappointed, and immediately called him at his office. He wasn't there.

I called again another day, finally getting through to him. "Oh. Right, well I'll do that later today. You can pick it up by tomorrow." Finally. I could breathe a sigh of relief. Called the school the next morning, and found out that the woman who was in charge of handing out transcripts was not there that day. You can imagine my mood, now :P It seemed EVERYTHING POSSIBLE was going wrong. I went back the next day to get it. She was away on lunch break (it was 1:30pm. Hm.) Waited around for a while, she came back and printed me off a copy. Excellent. I left, and mailed the transcript first chance I got.

Checking with http://www.ontariocolleges.com/, I realized that even a week later, my transcript hadn't arrived. That didn't make sense, it was priority mail - should've arrived the very next day. I re-checked the letter I'd recieved requesting my transcript - yeah, I'd sent it to the office of the registrar, the place that had sent me the letter. I called an academic counsellor I'd been working with, who then called the college itself - They said I had to send it to GUELPH, not to them directly. Lame. So, had to go back, get another copy of my transcript, and send it to Guelph. They got it three days later, and processed it two days after that. While all this was going on, I applied to residence.

I waited nearly two weeks before my acceptance showed up on the website. I didn't accept right away - I wanted to make sure I got residence, which was being sent out on the 20th of April (a week later.) And today, I went out to my mailbox, and there it was. My letter. With a great big smile and my brother in tow, I sprinted back inside, eagerly tore the letter open... and realized I didn't get residence. Even as a first-year, I didn't get it. I had been previously told by my parents that unless I got residence, they wouldn't be paying the money to have me go away to school. Hopes sinking yet again, I checked what my place was on the wait list.


... 971 out of 980 people. One of the LAST people they'd choose if an opening came up. The letter tried to be encouraging, saying that it wasn't uncommon for people in the range of number 400-500 to get in before the semester began, but I mean, come on. I was number nine-hundred and seventy-one. There were 970 people AHEAD of me. Fat chance of me getting residence.

So feeling sad, I started apartment hunting online. I am determined to not stick around here for another year, this town is a little bit smothering. I'm sure I'll miss it once I'm gone, but I need a few years to make sure I can really appreciate it here, should I ever choose to move back.

Also. To add insult to injury, tonight at dinner mum let us break a wishbone. "Make a wish!! :D " So, I wished for some smoother sailing here on in, post-secondary wise. Ben made his wish. And we pulled... - THE WISHBONE SHATTERED INTO THREE PIECES AND NO ONE GOT THEIR WISH.

For serious, someone up there must really not want me to go away to school.
Ever.



-Bee


PS: I never did send away applications to university. I was bluntly told I could not send my transcript away as a "work in progress" to universities. Only highschool students were allowed -midterm marks would be sent away, and acceptances based on those marks, plus final marks. But they wouldn't allow me to, since I wasn't attending highschool. And considering I'm now ten days away from Fanshawe retracting their offer if I don't accept, I'd rather be safe. If I tried for university and they didn't accept me, I would be left with nowhere to go.

The Great Debate

It's been a while since I've written anything, and I suppose it's about time I hopped back on the horse, here. I'm in the market for a new computer. Laptop, specifically; one that I can carry with me class to class at university, one that has all the regular office functions while still having decent gaming and media-creating applications. One that will last. Gotta be easy to navigate, fast (especially for internet load times - this thing's a piece of shit) and be capable of surviving a while on just battery power.

...Yeah, I sound kind of picky. But why shouldn't I be, if I'm going to be paying THAT much money, let alone for a gadget I'm going to use frequently - probably every single day of the time I own it. I think it's justified, and crucial to know what you want out of a product.

So anyway, the main dilemma at the moment is this: Should I go Mac, or Windows?

Before you rush off on your parade of "OMFG <3 Mac = LOVE!!!1 FTW" please note: I loved this computer. It is a Toshiba. I still do love it, though now in a sorrowful way instead of a joyful one (WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE?!) I'm not personally against PCs in any way; I can say I've had quite a few good experiences with them. (So if you're gunna say something, give me valid arguments, please.)

.... In my online research adventures (cue the Indiana Jones theme song) I've been somewhat disappointed in the amount of resources that are available to me. So far, the useful information I've been able to discover is as follows:


Mac: Sleek, asthetically-pleasing and modern design. Is for "fun" people. Specifically, "young" and "hip" people. Useful in "creative" applications, like music and video editing, though Microsoft office programs may be bought for it. Costs a lot more money. Gadgets and addons cost a lot more money. No viruses. Layout is weird for those switching from PC. Can't use webcam across from a Mac to a PC (webcam is something I use a lot for visiting with long-distance friends and family, and many have PCs.) Not all games and programs are compatible. Decent battery life. Decent support from Apple, should something go wrong. Yay Apple.



PC: Gets viruses. Has a wider variety of user-specific solutions (ie. computer suited to gaming, computer suited to business, computer suited to media editing, etc.) Will slow down and break over time. Will suffer "crashes." Vista sucks balls. Don't buy Vista. Is more affordable. Gadgets and addons are more affordable. Most programs are compatible. Decent battery life. DON'T BUY VISTA.





People are super possessive about their computers, eh? Some love to just bash - some prefer to quietly revel is self-glory. Some are nice and attempt to make an accurate comparison, but end up showing slight inconsistencies. I have found maybe one or two articles that proved helpful to me, in attempting to decide which will be my product of choice. Where are all the comparisons? ...Done by professionals that actually know what they're talking about? (Though, without getting too crazy with the geek-speak... I'm an ordinary person, you see. Not familiar with that language :P ) You'd think it would be a common issue, considering Mac's rise in popularity over the last few years - What about us PC users? Should we make the switch, or no? This computer has to last me through school, so I'm not afraid to put some money towards the thing. But I also don't want to go bankrupt just for the sake of a particular brand name. Maybe I would for good technology, though. What constitutes "top of the line" anyway? Pff. This is too much stress just for buying a computer. Why are we all so dependent on them? What ever happened to a good ol' piece of paper, and a nice pen?! I like pens. *sob*

-deep breath- Anyway. It's kind of sad, but I get hand cramps from handwriting now, because I do it so infrequently. And I'm not talking cramping up after writing a three-hour exam, but cramping up after ten minutes then chucking the pencil at somebody's head because even after all my crampy effort, my writing looks like shit. My younger brother, who is fifteen, didn't even know how cursive writing worked until his teacher made the class learn it for fun. Pathetic.

Someone, save me from the horrors that is computer-buying. Maybe later I'll post a picture of my poor Toshiba, and everyone can point and laugh. I'll tell you this: the screen is broken (hardware) so there's a nice fat stripe, maybe two inches wide, that runs from top to bottom. Completely impedes my view, WOO. The "i" key on the keyboard is missing. The silver paint is worn off where my hands sit, leaving large black splotches that look like burn marks. The hinges to open and close the thing are cracked and split. And it will only stay turned on for seven minutes once it's unplugged - battery is TOASTED. Yep, this is my baby. My horrifically destroyed, scarred, and mostly non-functional baby. You're just jealous.




REPRESENT.




-Bee

Hey Now, Don't Look At Me That Way...

There's something about myself that I generally enjoy, but can also be somewhat embarrassed by at times - I cannot see something cute and not react. And when I say I consistently react when presented with adorable things, I mean I usually:

a) Squeak and try to hide from it (??? Why, I will never be able to say. Just happens.)

b) Burst out with "AWWW" and "LOOK AT IT?!" and many combinations of these phrases while wringing my hands and wanting too badly to just hold whatever it is ("It NEEDS me...")

c) Completely lose my abiliy to speak and form words

d) Fall over

e) Feel like crying because of its sheer adorableness.

f) Actually start crying because of its sheer adorableness.

It's something that's always been a facet of my personality. I mean, how does everybody else react when they see cute things? Obviously not as outwardly as I do. Sure, they feel all warm and fuzzy too, but the ball pretty well stops there. They don't need to hold somebody's hand just to keep themselves from imploding at the site of a cute robot traversing Central Park (It must be the music, I swear.)

Something I can always count on to cheer me up is Youtube, with its countless videos of cute things - this time, specifically, laughing babies. I think I can honestly say that if you're having a bad day, you could just watch a video of a little baby laughing, and you'll feel, at the very least, a bit better. I personally enjoy the ones with hearty laughs that sound too full for their little bodies. Like this guy. But fail babies are also pretty great, like this kid. Or how about ones that appreciate music? (LOOK AT HIS SOCKS; HOW CUTE IS THAT? :D ) Then there's the buhlud kid. It doesn't even have to be baby humans to make people smile. See? Everyone loves them. I could go on about them ALL DAY. But I won't, because there's more I should be doing today besides blabbing on about cute things. Even though that'd be the best day ever.

Happiness needs to go around and make it into more people's lives. Mass happiness... can you imagine what the world would be like?

I'm stalling, aren't I? Schoolwork, here I come... What makes you happy?

-Bee

Easter, and Being Artsy Fartsy

Hoping everybody had a happy Easter :) If that's your holiday to celebrate.

My Easter celebration consisted of two giant turkey dinners, one brunch, one luncheon, and enough chocolate to make me both horribly facially-disfigured (acne and rotted teeth, anyone?) and obese by the time the month is out. But I'm pretty pumped regardless; I am a chocolate fiend. By which I mean I just like to eat chocolate, like most other people.

Anyway. I've been a busy bee lately. Besides getting hauled all over town all weekend, I've been attempting to design blog headers for other people, and it's FUN. I mean, I really like it. I was glad to oblige when Shane asked for one, so you can go check that out here. It's simple, yeah. But he likes it, and I like it too. I'd like to maybe do more, for my other friends. We'll see what happens.

I'm looking to make a new one for my own blog too - maybe I'll do that tonight. Suggestions?

-Bee

Camouflage!

I'm the type of person that frequently ends up with a lot of saved photos on their computer. Usually, of random things: art, funny pictures (LOLcats!) and normally, a lot of great conversation starters. Like this:

Is that not the greatest sleeping bag you've ever seen? You could wake up and hop after people in the middle of the night, "ROAR!!" or better yet, just stick your head out of the bushes with the top zipped up and stare until some unsuspecting camper notices your presence. Brilliance. Here are some more photos of "The Sleeping Bear:"

Kind of gruesome in an awesome way, those last ones. Almost like it's eaten a child or something. Anyway, regardless - I want one. Not entirely sure when it goes on sale, or how much it would be; It was made by artist Eiko Ishizawa for an exhibition, so as of right now it's one-of-a-kind. But someday... Sigh.

Moving on - Today, a friend sent me a link to urban camouflage, which is another really neat idea. Just like the Sleeping Bear is a kind of camouflage, ("ROAR!!!") this stuff can also be completely terrifying as well. Imagine walking up beside a quiet looking bus stop, only to find the posters have a face. A face that can talk back and roll its eyes at you. Spooky. I'm not sure if some of these photos are Photoshopped or not, but regardless. Cool stuff.

Know what's also cool? ...Time for food.


-Bee

Crispy Rabbits and The Stink Eye

You know, the experience of being able to go to bars and order drinks without worrying about the wrath of a bouncer is a strange feeling. Especially for someone who isn't horribly excited about drinking, or partying. So, like me. Yeah, I do enjoy going out now and again, but I do think it's gunna take a bit of getting used to, now that I'm actually able to legally. This past weekend was a good start to that. And a good start to some other crazy things, too.

I took the Friday night train to London to see m'boyfriend. Or, more specifically, use his house as home base while I went to the Saturday open house for the college there. I met up with my friend Mimi and her friend (whosenameItotallyforgetandamhorribleforitbecauseshe'sawesome,) and she came around the school with me while I did tours, talked to professors, etc. There were two vague areas I had signed up for, each with it's own specific option towards my future:

Option A) Horticulture Tech. This means working outdoors a lot. Plants and trees, both of which I love. Nature in general, really. Careers in greenhouses, plant production, landscaping, etc.
GREAT THINGS:
-I get to play in the dirt outside with pretty flowers all day, which is a love of mine.
-Last year, the 34 students who graduated the two-year program got work immediately; there were 155 job offers for them to choose from.
-The job market is fairly recession-proof. These jobs are always needed within cities.
-Pay starts at 20$ an hour.
-There is an opportunity for furthering education: Two years at an Alberta university to get a full-out degree.
DOWNSIDES:
-Seasonal work, until you're hired by a company and move up in the ranks.
-Some companies turn to general city maintainance during the winter months, ie. snow removal (I can NOT picture myself driving a snowplow around at 3 in the morning. No thanks.)
-It's very job-specific training; if somewhere down the line I discover it's not for me, there's not a whole lot else I can do with the education.
Option B) One year of the Liberal Studies program.
GREAT THINGS:
-I don't know what I want to do as a career yet, so being exposed to many different subjects, options, and themes as I would in this program MIGHT be a good thing to happen for me.
-It's university preparation. The college has an agreement with the University of Western Ontario to accept a certain number of students each year into the Arts and Humanities faculty.
-There's a focus on language. I'm good at language.
- Tons of options. Certain credits within the program can also go towards both alternate college, and university educations.
DOWNSIDES:
-It's very generic. I'll be all over the place, less focus.
- The electives/compulsory I can take aren't always going to have anything to do with things I'm interested in. At all. For example, I have to take a social-somethingy credit. And this means I have to take WOMEN'S STUDIES. And I am in no way a feminist. The extremes some of these people go to are insane, and I get pissy just listening to them go at it, sometimes. I can't fairly go off and say they're all crazy, but I've met some that definately missed the boat. I'll just throw in a lot of words like "oppressed" and "conform to male ideals" and stuff in my essays. Should make 'em happy.
- Essays. There will be lots, and lots, and lots of essays. Not that I'm LAZY OR ANYTHING.

Anyway. So when we got to the college, we wandered around. Mimi gave a quick tour as to what there was to see. Caf, res, store... whatevs. We found the main horitculture classroom (it's a very small program) as well as the landscape design area of the building (considerably more packed.) Only one other prospective student showed up, which was kind of saddening. The poor professor was just talking away, being completely technologically illiterate ("Can someone turn the volume down for the slideshow??") and scatterbrained, and otherwise just being a sweet older gentleman who was very passionate about his work. I liked him right away. We visited the greenhouse, which wowed myself and the other girl who was curious about the program, while those who weren't there out of interest/didn't "get it" stood nearby, bored and nose-picking, sometimes idly poking at a nearby cactus or something. We said our goodbyes, but when it was time to find the Liberal Studies program... no one was there. There wasn't even a place dedicated to for the professors to talk to prospective students or anything. In fact, the entire floor that was supposed to be occupied was completely empty. Pff. So that was a flop. I kind of needed to talk to someone about it, too.

Regardless. I loved the facilities, felt decently at home in the place. Though, I still love the feeling of a great big university campus, rather than the almost high-school-like atmosphere of Fanshawe. Green spaces, old buildings... all very inspiring to me. The college is amost industrial in design.

Anyway. So that was SATURDAY. Let's go back in time a bit. Friday night was spent went Shane and his friends Nic, Muffin, and Paul at a pub. Which was really fun. I got a couple of drinks bought for me (to make up for a lack of the birthday variety last month) and just generally hung out. Being the noob I am, I just told the bartender to, "Make me something good, because I'm clueless." Cosmopolitans? Not bad at all. I can see where they'd be dangerous, though. Overall, an enjoyable night. And at the end of it, an action sequence. Shane almost got into a fight with four crazy guys with Spanish-like accents. Because they thought he said something that he did not. The crowd at the hotdog stand was on our side, though. Plus, when the ringleader decided to jog out of the group after us, I turned around and gave him a look of pure venom. He stopped, turned around, and went back to his group. For serious. I must be scarier than I thought! /flex :D




After I got back from Fanshawe on Saturday, we went to the farmer's market (LOVE IT) and had lunch with his mum and her... boyfriend? His semi-step dad. Whatever. His Bob. Yeah! Bob's a nice guy.

So anyway. I sang Radiohead songs with a lonely girl performing in the space between the bakery and the deli. But I was shy, so I mostly just hovered around singing to the cupcakes while letting her hear me, although barely - I was quiet. She seemed pleased; plenty of smiles to show someone was actually listening to her.

Sunday was excellent. Spent it scrubbing tubs, washing floors, doing laundry... and watching horror movies. And walking around a really pretty park, by a river. Perfect afternoon, considering a) I love cleaning and organizing OTHER peoples' houses. [Just not my bedroom.] But for other people? YEAH! and b) Horror movies are the shit. But only when I'm in the mood for them. ... c) Going for walks on warm sunny days? Pretty much gorgeous. I saw a fat groundhog pigging out on grass, too. Squealed, chased it and failed. But at least I didn't fall into the ditch that was there, too.

By the way. I love bunnies. We all know this. But, Charlie convinced Paul to buy a rabbit at the market this weekend. A dead one. In order to cook it. And I had the wonderful time of seeing this dead carcass crisping away on the barbeque before I left. Coming from a game-hunting family, dead things are not news to me, but the fact that he insists on still calling it a rabbit (almost as though it is alive D: ) is disheartening. Poor bunny, you were doomed from the start. I heard you tasted good, though. If that's any form of consolation whatsoever.

Now, to sleep. I've got a driving lesson in the mornin' that I don't feel like missin'. Hopefully the weather people lied when they said there's going to be fifteen centimetres of wet snow, tonight. Disgusting. Bring on SPRING, I SAY.

My bed feels empty, not having somebody to share it with. At least now I don't have to worry about drooling and having somebody witness my sleep face (ew.) Though, I will definately miss the heat pirating.


-Bee.

And The Moral Is: Don't Suprise People Holding Scissors.

KAY. So, I'm pregnant.

... APRIL FOOLS!! Because, that's funny, right? Well, my best friend thinks it is, anyway.

So I was happily napping on a sunny afternoon when my phone buzzed to life beside me on the bedside table. Eyes half-open, I reached for it, and as usual the new message popped up up on the sceen, this time from my best friend, Devon: "I'm pregnant." Uh, ok. Panic. This is the part where my eyes snapped open, I responded with a textbook, "WHAT," logged onto MSN within seconds and started spamming a conversation window with "OKAY, BREATHE. WE CAN DO THIS. GUNNA BE OK." About three seconds later, it hit me. It's April first. April Fool's Day.

Goddamnit.

Turns out she pulled the same thing on most of her friends, her mother, and ... her boyfriend. Now there's a relationship tester, hopefully he doesn't up and run *growls* And I'm sure her poor mother's just at home having a heart attack at the computer desk right about now. I should bake her cupcakes.

See, I'm partially peeved because I wish I would've thought of it first. Also, because my glorious nap was interrupted. Other than that though, I'm cool with it. I wish I could come up with something to get her back... I mean, there's no way I could get either her, OR my boyfriend with an April Fool's prank. No way. Though I'm sure before the day is out I will have fallen for something clever he's thought up, since she's already got me once. Or at least something from my parents, like last year. "We bought you a car!!" *cries*

I'm in a completely different crisis, however. One that's striking me as slightly more agitating, the more time passes. You see, I've been trying to grow my hair out for the last year or so, from being just above my shoulders in length. Except now it's annoying because it's long. And I don't like always tying it up to keep it off of me, always wearing a ponytail or something. Suggestions? Someone, please... take away the scissors.

-Bee

FAIL OF THE DAY: Spotted a large, dead animal of some sort wedged in the tree in front of my house. Freaked out, called parents at work, texted Shane in class, and tackled my brother as he came in the door to get him to go "rescue it." Upon closer inspection... it was a stick.

Dream a Little Dream of Me...

So here I am at 1:13 in the afternoon, still in pyjamas. It seems like a nice enough day outside, so maybe I'll take the initiative and get out there sometime today. But before I do that, I'm going to write something down that I've deemed important. I had a dream last night, that I do not want to forget.

Dreams. Everybody has them, but not everybody REMEMBERS them. I am one of the lucky ones (maybe not so lucky at the same time, because of the clarity of my nightmares) - that is, I remember each and every dream in crystal clear detail, like it was something in a movie I just watched. It is a very rare occurance when I do not remember my dreams, though it does happen, and generally freaks me out every time it does. Though, I do find I feel more rested when I don't remember my dreams.

My general view on dreams is that they are a reflection of what a person is currently going through with their life at that point in time. Stress, anxiety, sadness, excitement, happiness, wonder... it can all filter through into our dream-selves, and what happens to us while we're asleep. Sometimes, finding that link to our real lives can be a little difficult, but when you do find it, it's time to do a facepalm - Dreams aren't discriminatory when it comes to what they're going to be about. A wink wink.

I am someone who always asks others about their dreams, and isn't generally afraid to spill about my own. So, I'm pretty happy about my boyfriend's decision to work on dream recall. He is now getting into the habit of writing down whatever he remembers as soon as he wakes up, so as to get more accustomed to his dream patterns, and more comfortable with the fact that he actually does have dreams (despite not remembering the way he'd like to.) After his dream recall is up to snuff, he's going to try something that I'd like to figure out a little better too; lucid dreaming. Now, before you freak out, it IS possible to "wake up" still inside a dream and realize that you're dreaming. I've done it a few times before, by accident, and either a) had way too much fun or b) Effed it up because I tried to hard to force it, therefore waking my brain up too much and just coming entirely to my senses for the day. It's difficult to strike a balance. Some suggestions at learning to do it are pausing to do a "reality check" in-dream, meaning attempting to do something that would be impossible anywhere but in a dream. So, putting your hand through a wall, flying, etc. I think that I don't stop to try these while dreaming is because I can't grasp that I'm dreaming very often. I just accept things because they look so real, and are so detailed. I wish I could though; I'd put myself an hour from here, with someone I miss.

If you're interested in reading further on the topic, there are a variety of websites and books available. Like for example, here and here. And here, if you want. And those are only three places to read up on it; there are tons of other resources out there.

If it was always possible to control your dreams, what would you do?

-Bee

Alright, well...

I have blogs left and right. I decorate them, write a few articles, and often move on because I feel like I can't keep a "flow" going. Blogs should have a flow, you know? A lot of people keep theirs themed: music, technology, love, business - except, with me... I have no theme. My theme is all over the place. Like the time I dropped an entire bucket of water down two flights of stairs (true story.) I'll try and keep this one clean of my moody bits and unecessary complaining, but... we'll see where it ends up. Hopefully not a figurative six feet under like so many of my other online journal-ish things.

SO. I made a pretty header, because I absolutely hate using other peoples' work on my own "personal" pages. So it's not that great, but it's something at least for now. Maybe I'll work on a better one over time, but for now, that's that. Currently trying to figure out how to get a Twitter feed onto this page, because I'm more likely to update that than this. I think. Plus it'd just be kinda cool, having my Twitter there, going "HEY. GET MORE ADDICTED TO ME."

Break time. Be back with something to make you think.


-Bee

Am I alone when I say this picture makes me happy? I wonder what that cow is thinking.

Jon's Unsure.

24 March, 2009

Coming from just watching one of my favourite tv shows, Jon and Kate Plus 8*, I have a valid question for all you people out there. At the end of the show, which happened to be the season finale... Jon made public the fact that he does not enjoy being recognized everywhere he goes. Having his own show has resulted in a lot of unwanted publicity, complete lack of privacy, and constant scrutinzation from the public, which is causing some extreme frustration on his part, and a reason for them to reconsider going on and producing a season five of their show.

**For those unfamiliar with the Jon and Kate Plus 8 show, which airs on TLC, the series is based on a couple who gave birth to a set of twins, and then when they tried for one more... were blessed with sextuplets. The program follows their daily life with the kids. The house can get downright crazy, I tell you! o.o Having the show provides extra funding for the family, since I'm sure it can be expensive to raise so many children at once. Kate also had to quit her job when the sextuplets were born, so it gives her a way to make money and still be able to stay at home to raise them. The kids have been given opportunities that they most likely would not have had without the show being a part of their lives, as Kate pointed this out during the interview. They can take trips, buy clothes and appliances (laundry is daily, at least four loads a day or something they said,) and the show even helped them to afford a bigger house so there was enough room for the family to live more comfortably.

Anyway, my question is this: If you have an opportunity to have your own television show, do you think it would be worth it, considering the extensive publicity and lack of privacy you would therefore get from then on? Considering all elements - Worth it, or no?

-Bee

EW.

With summer fast approaching, it had to be done. I came across a certain picture today, and absolutely felt the need to say something of it. Now, this picture represents an extreme case, but I really need to know:

WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH SPEEDOS?

I mean, the least a guy could do is wear one his size. And I know I'm very biased about it, but... I really do think speedos naturally compliment men who are fit and take care of themselves... and are professional swimmers in professional swimming pools. To me, there's nothing worse than a speedo that looks like it's being eaten by a big hangy beer belly in the front. Maybe this is because around where I live, these swimsuits are not common at all, and I'm just not used to them. Almost every man swimming around here swims in swim trunks. I know they might be less comfortable, but bleh. I just cannot wrap my mind around the male enthusiasm of the speedo.

If anyone could enlighten me on this, it'd be great. Please? :P

-Bee

Empty - Ray LaMontagne

She lifts her skirt up to her knees,
walks through the garden rows with her bare feet, laughing.
I never learned to count my blessings,
I choose instead to dwell in my disasters.
I walk on down the hill,
through grass, grown tall and brown
and still its hard somehow to let go of my pain.
On past the busted back of that old and rusted Cadillac
that sinks into this field, collecting rain.
Will I always feel this way?
So empty, so estranged.

And of these cut-throat busted sunsets,
these cold and damp white mornings
I have grown weary.
If through my cracked and dusted dime-store lips
I spoke these words out loud would no one hear me?
Lay your blouse across the chair,
let fall the flowers from from your hair
and kiss me with that country mouth, so plain.
Outside, the rain is tapping on the leaves,
to me it sounds like they're applauding us the the quiet love we made.
Will I always feel this way?
So empty, so estranged.

Well I looked my demons in the eyes,
laid bare my chest, said "Do your best, destroy me.
You see, I've been to hell and back so many times,
I must admit you kind of bore me."
There's a lot of things that can kill a man,
there's a lot of ways to die,
listen, some already did that walked beside me.
There's a lot of things I don't understand,
why so many people lie.
Its the hurt I hide that fuels the fire inside me.
Will I always feel this way?
So empty, so estranged.


This song sends me into daydreams the moment it comes on. I absolutely adore it, and felt I should share that factoid with whoever ends up here :]

-Bee